For me it is OK that joan and max accuse me of sending random sms to him. Really, accuse me, fine. Send me smses to see if i did those things. fine. i'm ok. i deny it. God knows if i did it or not. God is my judge. now that i have denied anything to do with it, it can only be my friends?!?!!

Now i myself have to ask the two of you to piss off and mind your own business. my friends will never do such a thing. i do not even have to ask them. i do not even question my friends integrity and conscience. go ahead, make a report to the police. ask them to find out who the person is, but do not accuse my friends of wrong doing unless you have proof.



To the friend that told me about the incident. Thank you, because even when she knew about the incident, she did not even ask me about it because she knew i would not do such a thing.

So yesterday joan messaged me. the sms conversation, word for word.

Her:
If you want to talk to max. Talk to him yourself. Don't go through some random friend.

(Reading this, I had to calm myself down. I was having a training at work and started to get so distracted. I had no idea what she was talking about. Talk about a vague sms.)

Her:
Or you talk to me.

Me:
I don't know what are you talking abt.

Her:
You know what you did. If you can live with that then so be it.

(Still had no idea what she was referring to.)

Me:
I don't know. Explain yourself.

Her:
I was hoping it wasn't you. But it seems like it was. If want to live in your world of hatred, go ahead. But don't drag others in as well.

(Seems like it was? Assumptions based on?)

Me:
If you want to confront me abt something. Please explain it. If not I don't know what your talking about.

Me:
Anyway there is nothing that I want to say to u or max. So i don't know why someone would say that I want to talk. I don't know who is this random friend.

Her:
If thats what you claim then there's nothing I can say. So be it.

(I dun have to claim this, everyone in church knows that I do not even want to speak to you or have anything to do with you or ur bf.)

Me:
What did people say?

Me:
I dun understand why u get so worked up when i can't even clarify what u heard. And in ur last statement it is as though I won't admit to what I have done when i dunno what ur referring (to). Cos if I had done something, and its true I will say so. I am not one to hide things if its true.

(its hard for her to reply....)

Me:
You might want to reply to my sms.

Her:
Fine so be it.

Me:
Did you even read my sms? You don't even allow me to defend myself. Maybe you trust random people more than you trust me. If i had something to say, you will read about it on my blog.

Her:
Its not really something you're trying to say. More of something you're trying to do or prove. Forget it. Things between us will never get better. So all the best in what ever you do. God bless.

(At this point I had a conversation with a mutual friend of ours, that person said that somebody actually sent out a not so nice sms to max. joan thought that its me.. wow thanks. i'm capable of that? i won't stoop to your level.. no thanks. i can swear to my one and only awesome God that I did not send out an sms to max, i did not ask some random friend to send out an sms to max. If that is what you are referring to.)

Me:
What I am trying to prove? Do I even need to try to do something? Dun blame me for something that happen to your bf.



Well, irritates me that she can't just come straight to my face and ask if this or that is true. Why go one big round and she still doesn't know the truth. Be direct. Ask what you want and get out of my way.

have you ever by s club 7 on the radio made it even more emo.. (gay i know.. haha)

grrr.. can't wait for hong kong trip. i hate the feeling of needing a special someone to talk to... booooo

i have to remove gmail tab, officemail tab from my firefox now that all mail goes into my blackberry. oh, the convenience of it all. haha. i'm loving the blackberry :)

thanks for blocking me from viewing your photos. i don't know what your trying to do but your actions are not helping things. something to hide by blocking me? i still hate how ignorant you are when u decided to break up with me and said that he had nothing to do with our break up and that he u wouldn't like him cos he is a non-christian and when david ask what happens when he becomes a christian, u said "and your point?" when he suggested that u are able to date him then u said "and...?" that was how pathetic and ignorant your reply was. i mean if u didn't like someone u would say "i will not even consider him after he becomes a christian." when he knew our relationship was on the rocks, u said he stayed out of it. what a friend. i still hate all these things. i really hate it.

I know i have lots of hatred in my heart and its not because i see them together. i hate the lies, the deception, the hiding. i'm glad she is going away to sweden so i won't even see her.

i whine alot, and this is my way of getting rid of my frustrations. so to my cell dun have to talk to me abt this. thanks.